Ask Madden

Happy New Year. :)

yo yo...

1.i tricked bout my previous post, i was just mad
2.i cant sleep!
3. another revision to my "what you learn from movies" post

yo yo...i have learned of much corruption on the secret santa. this is why i quit.

What up. Today was the last day of school and I am pleased that we can all kick back, relax, and try to catch up on sleep. I gave out lots of sentimental gifts today, I hope everyone liked them. JMB will have the most fun with his... Today at lunch I was hanging out with Michelle and her friends and giving them insights as to the male perspective on pornography. One of her friends just turned 18 and went into a porn shop just to check it out, funny to say the least. She was surprised at the variety and I tried to tell her that most guys know all about them way before they can legally purchase. Funny stuff. Anyway, on to a serious note. Mr. Powers caught me leaving school and warned me not to get mixed up in any stupid shit this break; that I had a lot of good things going for me like NYU and he didn't want me to screw that up. Not that he thinks I'm a screw up, I understand where his concern stems from, and really appreciate that he ran out into the pouring rain at the end of the day just to tell me that before I left. Knowing Pow cares that much made me feel pretty good. Since I probably won't blog until next week, Merry Christmas.

yo yo

THINGS YOU LEARN FROM MOVIES

-Cars will always blow up no matter what they crash into anything, even if no gas is in the car
-The only sure way to kill a villain is with electricity, anything else death is a question mark
-Relationships always work
-Final battles MUST be fought 1 on 1, no matter how many reinforcements are available
-Women and frail men will always put themselves in danger so they can be saved by the burly courageous men
-The hero's car is always faster
-The ends always justify the means...as long as the villain dies thousands of innocent people can be slaughtered without remorse or punishment
-Henchman do not have families or lives outside of the gang they work in
-Destroying the "main reactor" will always result in everything else being destroyed.
-The object of craps is simply to get 7.

What up. Todays props go out to Green Day, for creating an amazing album that is not only an excellent collection of tracks but its own living, breathing story. This album left an impression on me. As a music dork, the idea of a punk rock opera really made me jump out of my chair. Definetly a different level than I expected from Green Day, but wow, I'm sorry I didn't pick it up sooner.

I've been feeling weird lately, even moreso since I got home yesterday, and I think I realized why today. I went to the mall with my sister to see a movie and it hit me: Less and less do I find myself enjoying activities that people my age are suposed to enjoy, and more and more do I find myself thinking about a family. We came in through target and I realized I was looking at kids' pajamas and saying to myself 'oh, those are so cute' and looking at the toys saying 'wow, that looks like it would be a lot of fun'. Then as we were walking around the mall I seemed to notice all the kids and I just wanted one. I saw a little 4-ish year old boy fall and I wanted to help him up and tell him that it was ok. Then in the movie I started thinking about how I wish I were taking my child to his first movie, or teaching him to ride a bike, or taking him to school for his first day. I just can't see myself going out and enjoying life anymore. All I can picture myself doing is raising a family.
I dont want to grow up, but I feel it's too late.

yo yo...

"Ugh. Would that Christmas just be, without presents. It is just so stupid, everyone exhausting themselves, miserably haemorrhaging money on pointless items nobody wants: no longer tokens of love but angst-ridden solutions to problems. What is the point of entire nation rushing round for six weeks in a bad mood preparing for utterly pointless Taste-of-Others exxam which entire nation then fails and gets stuck with hideous unwanted merchandise as fallout? If gifts and cards were completely eradicated, then Christmas as pagan-style twinkly festival to distract from lengthy winter gloom would be lovely. But if government, religious bodies, parents, traditions, etc. insist on Christmas Gift Tax to ruin everything why not make it that everyone must go out and spent £500 on themselves then distribute the items among their relatives and friends to wrap up and give to them instead of this psychic-failure torment?"


what do people think of this?

What up. Physics + no Luft + computers + sub who does nothing + work is done = doing absolutely nothing and fucking around for two periods fuck you john martin stop watching me you whore. Monger. Whore Monger. Stop condescending you condescending. Oh damnit I hate hard spellings, especially twice. Ah physics is fun. Everyone enjoyed our impromptu listening to the "12 Days of Protection". Fun. Can't wait for the bell. Aight today ends with a rap:

Super fly physics aint doing shit
Now listen up y'all to the lyrics I spit
This is collaboration between the funky sweet studder
Of the three mad rappers White Thought and J Butter
And of course with no remorse we bring the third manifest
hes a rapper and a number, number nYnE is the best
Together we deliver shit that puts you to the test
Our lyrics are delirious, so now we must confess
So sit down, look around, and soak up the rest.

yo yo...

OC PARTY THURSDAY!

Looks like I'm college bound.

yo yo


ATTENTION

OC PARTY THIS THURSDAY!

THERE WILL BE PUNCH AND PIE
(time and place to be announceed)

yo yo....well i'm sitting here at home crying at 6am because i have been watching the OC for the past 5 hours straight and i just finished the episode where anna leaves and i was so sad, she's always been my favorite, i loved her since day 1, she wasnt the prettiest of the girls but her and seth were just so good together, o god...i'm a girl...

yo yo...i was thinkin about what it would be like to be a dad and this question came to mind...

at what age to you have to start buying your kids presents? like when they're 2 they have no frickin idea wat the hell a birthday is or wat christmas is. so wat i wanna know, is at wat age do u actually have to start gettin them shit. cuz i wanna try to not teach them wat birthdays are until they're at least 13

What up.
The New single from the Nici Pags Trio, from their self titled album "A Very Disease Free Christmas" is available for download on Nicole's Blog. Here's The Twelve Days of Protection.

yo yo....i was telling gong that i wish i had a fort cuz when i sleep i like to feel close, so she suggested i get an "adam sized crib", if anyone knows where i can get one let me know, cuz if i ask my dad to build me one he'd prolly disown me

yo yo....i wish i had a friend that no one knew, cuz then i could talk about him/her

yo yo

An Evening with Rockapella at the French Institute/Florence Gould Hall, New York, NYSat, Jan 8, 2005 07:00 PM

ticekts are $29.50

if anyone wants to go lemme know, i will go myself if i have to cuz Rockapella rocks

IN SO FAR
•Nici Paggs

Hello everyone. Today was...eventful. Everyone (Jordan, Itay, Justin, Scott, Brandon, Jen, BJ) decided that it would be a WONDERFUL idea to drag me along ice skating with them. Considering my phobia of ice, this wasn't exactly the peachiest evening I had. I went around FOUR times. THAT'S SAYING A LOT, SO STOP BITCHING EVERYONE! If people were made to travel speedily on ice, they'd be born with metal spikes on the bottoms of their feet. Get over it, we're not made for ice skating. Weirdos. Skiiing is a wintery as my sports get, so BITE ME.

What up.

This sonnet is called "Free Cake"

I dreamt that I lived in a perfect world,
Where cake is always free for everyone,
And sisters never had a mouth to feed,
And mothers never bartered with their son.
The time is short for me so I'll be quick,
And quick I must to take my noble leave.
Think not of me as ignorantly sick,
Just angry with the stone that I must cleave.
Not just desert but freedom I desire.
Forever to be free of parents say,
To travel far until my wealth expire,
To jolly fun and happiness all day.
So off I go to drive my sister home,
Someday free of her clutches I will roam.

yo yo..... ca ca

Good morning everyone. This is a sad entry that I am writing about my feelings right now. There were two things tonight that made me cry and id like to talk about them. While going to see the movie “Alexander” there was a preview for the support of St.Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. There were several actors that were shown including Robins Williams and Sarah Jessica Parker, with children that were suffering from different kinds of cancer and sickle cell anemia and other fatal problems that I think that no child should have to go through. The whole time that I was watching it I just wanted to cry. I wanted to make millions of dollars go to the hospital and donate it. It just seems difficult for me to understand how such small, precious beings can go through so much. They are much stronger than I am, or ever will be. It’s something that I cant even fathom. One child couldn’t have been more than 3 years old, and after watching the movie I feel was more brave than any soldier that fought in those battles. I don’t know what could be more difficult than fighting something that, at that age, they cant understand. How does one explain the situation, or even worse, WHY.
Last night, somewhat ironically, I had a dream about this in which scott pretended to be a part of the “Make a Wish Foundation” so that he could met players from the Yankees and Jets. The whole time I was looking around and seeing at least 20 other children that were legitimately given the opportunity and I couldn’t stand it. I woke up in a sweat and with a horrible feeling inside. I hated it, and I wanted to hate my brother, even though it was just a dream. The more I think about it, the more I wish that I could take their place. I know it probably sounds corny, and stupid. But its almost like what a parent goes through whenever their child gets injured, they wish that they could take their place. I would willingly die so that no other child would have to go through something so torturous, and painful. I know that that’s not possible, but I would gladly do it if I could. I knew a child who actually goes to my church who is in remission from leukemia and has been for some time. But he, at one point, was a “Make a Wish” child and Doctors thought that he wouldn’t make it. I believe that he was 4 or 5 when he was diagnosed, and it kills me that some of his childhood was lost to fight this disease.

Both things that I am writing about tonight have some connection to me through people that I know/have known.

The Second thing was a movie in which a guy’s wife committed suicide. After searching around for some time, he was unable to find any pictures of her, so he went to his Mother-in-law for assistance. I, unfortunately didn’t pay complete attention to the movie because I was studying for my chemistry exam that starts in 8 hours from now. But to continue, He eventually had to break into his mother-in-law’s house to find pictures, and after finding a box full of them, he goes upstairs looking for the his mother-in-law, only to find her in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub, with a sealed letter with his name on it. It was a letter that was written by his wife before she killed herself, and the saddest thing to see was him fold up the paper and place it on his lap after he finished reading it, there was a portrayal of such loss, and grief that mere words cant describe. There was a match inside the envelope, which he then struck and burned the letter, and the fire spread to the box full of pictures, and his clothes. After removing his clothes he walks outside in his boxers and just keeps walking down the middle of a street before the movie ends with a fade out.
On May 29, 2001, three years ago, on my 15th birthday, Daniel Adler Jr. Shot himself in the head. He was a member of my church and when a friend of my family. I didn’t go to his funeral or to his wake out of anger. I was pissed off at him for doing such a thing. Although I was extremely upset with what he did, I tried to act very composed, and did so until one day while I was practicing lacrosse. It during my little brother’s cello lesson, in Spring Valley, in Perlman Plaza. There is a bi-level parking area, and since noone would park on the upper level I would play up against the wall up there. I started thinking about what he did and then I dropped to my knees and broke into tears. I cried ceaselessly for at least 10-15 minutes before beginning to gain my composure. I don’t remember exactly what it was that triggered such a reaction, but it was a built up emotion that finally came out.

I’m sorry for such a morbid entry, but I think that almost all of us take what we have for granted and rarely think about the consequences of our actions, mainly how they affect others. I think that we should all be grateful for what we have and appreciate the situations that we are in. Value life. That’s all.