Ask Madden

yo yo....so this past week was the hardest thing i ever had to go through, and was something ive been dreading for a while. We had to put simba to sleep this afternoon. Its so weird how quick things can change. Last thursday she was fine, trotting around the backyard and grazing. Then, that night she slipped and fell and couldnt stand back up. She just couldn't get her back legs up under her. The rest of the night she kept walking weird, kind of drifting towards the left, and constantly walking against walls and furniture and knocking things over and standing in corners. My mom and i took her to the hospital in the morning. When we got there she had a seizure, which was terribly scary to watch. The hardest part was just watching her face while seizing. The doctor there referred us to a neurologist in westchester so we took her there and it was discovered she had a large brain tumor on the front right of her brain, which explained her odd behavior the last few weeks(unusual barking). For the next few nights she was barely able to sleep and was on steroids to see if we could reduce the inflammation. we couldnt and her walking got worse. its just so terrible because you can see how she can't understand that she cant get up, so she'll just keep trying. Its not like she's a person and you can tell her to just lie down. she wasnt herself either, she wasnt afraid of the same things this past week. my mom vacuumed and she didnt care. i slept with her everynight cuz the thought of her trying to get up and just sitting there crying all night is just dreadful. i grew up with her and i guess you just feel like they will always be there. it kind of doesn't feel real yet. right now my mom is in the kitchen making my sisters lunch and any other night any minute i would expect to hear her footsteps in the kitchen to watch. the only thing we can be grateful for is that she couldnt have left in a better way...on her bed eating ham and cheese. i'm really going to miss her but i wont let her be forgotten