Ask Madden

In response to the recent strike by the film and television writers guild, I sort of feel that their demands are excessive. For one, there is such an economic disparity within the guild (there are members who are writer-producers making millions ever year, and others who are unemployed or sporadically employed...48% of the Writers Guild West is currently unemployed). Now, I understand their wanting to receive larger percentages of movies and television shows that do well, however I feel that if they want that, they should also be willing to take pay cuts when shows or movies they write for SUCK ASS.

Please humor me with the following fantasy in which I control the world: All writers will be paid on a basis of how much I like the movie or show they write for. Simply, if I like it, you can get paid. In fact, if I really like it and think the writing is superb, then you can even get paid extra. See, we both win! I get good television and movies, and you get more money.

The caveat: If you are responsible for sickening drivel, such as that found on Grey's Anatomy, then you are to be tarred, feathered, drawn, and quartered, and perhaps even gored by a hippopotamus, all on live television, to make up for the part of my life you wasted.

Now I for one think this is a perfect solution to this whole problem. And to tie this in with previous conversations, what I would do with my unlimited billions of dollars is purchase a major television network and air controversial material. And that's not to say air material on controversial topics, but rather to not censor anything and have happy shows with the freedom to curse and be naked. See, writers? More personal freedom for you!