Ask Madden

yo yo....i've been thinking a lot lately so i figure'd i put my thoughts into words. I have this weird feeling, well its a feeling i've had for a while. Its like my head feels cloudy. Its hard to explain, its not just like i cant focus, i feel liek my mind and spirit is deterioating, like i'm spiraling into indifference. I have so many regrets. After watching the Rockland Symphony night at school with the kids from all over the county performing show tunes at really depressed me. I regretted sooo much how i spent my high school years. I wish i would've focused more on music, got private lessons, practiced more. I wish i could have started high school over, my goal would've been to perform on that night, right at the side of Jonathan Roth. In drama today i did not sing my part very well, normally it wouldnt of really bothered me that much, everyone has there bad days, but idk, for some reason it really hurt my spirit today, it really got to me, a lot more than it should have. I had a dream last nite that iw as doing some play or something and was unhappy with the role i got or something. I think this dream pretty culminates what i'm saying (thanks ruthie, but i'll analyze this one myself). If there are any simpsons fans out there you'll appreciate this analogy. I literally feel liek Lisa did when she thought she was going to get progessively dumber until she was jsut in a perpetual stuper. I'm not saying i'm gonna get dumber, i know i'm a smart guy, i dotn care waht others think(GONG) but i know i am so thats all that matters. But i feel like my life is a train track heading downhill eventually going to crash (someone remind me NOT to ride a train anymore). I guess college is a place that people see as a venue to start over but idk, i'm not really looking forward to college (contrary to most other seniors).

I guess the only thing that made today great was mr powers at jazz band, he's so funny, i love him with all my body, even my pee pee.