Sunday, December 28, 2003
Dum Dadah-dum-dum-dum-duuuuuumm. (Insert drumroll and majestic trumpet fanfare here). Thus I re-enter the blog scene after a rather long stint with the New York Times, during which time I wrote editorials that made people love me and worship me as a god. During my tenure with the Times, I frequently used such words as "bosh," "acoutrement," and "poppycock" as part of my witty satirical commentary on everything in the world. Okay, perhaps that's not entirely true, but I'll let you choose which parts to believe and which to dismiss as mere poppycock (see, maybe I was telling the truth about some things...).
While I was gone, a great many things have happened. Here is a much abbreviated list: My first semester at Cornell has drawn to a close, I have almost definitely failed mathematics, Saddam Hussein has been captured, The Return of the King opened in theatre's (yes, I know it's obnoxious, but that's how I spell theatre...the British way...it's the only word I treat in such a fashion, so just deal with it), Christmas has come and gone, I have liberated the Jews from Sweden, discovered the cure for AIDS (unfortunately in a freak accident, I was forced to use the paper on which my discovery was written as toilet paper, I apologize to anyone with AIDS, including but not limited to: Magic Johnson, "A Boy I Once Knew," Jeanie Boulay from NBC's longtime hit television series ER, and the majority of the African Continent), and proclaimed myself supreme Chancelor of all of Australia (I figure I'll start small).
Now, in the style of the great British writers, we will tactlessly move to discuss things more important than diry people with AIDS, namely "Transitional Romanesque Architecture"...neither traditional nor Romanesque...discuss amongst yoursleves.
In other news: I fucked the Queen of England, Adam got a new car, Kevin crashed his car and got a Jeep, Joefry got a Jetta, A dirty African child dies every 10 seconds, and Prince Charles took it up the ass from King Kong.
In the spirit of keeping with my New York Times reporter status (which I so eloquently maintain as truth) I will promise to at least make the attempt at frequenting the blog and attempting to publish at a frequency similar to that with which I used to. With that said, I leave thee to thine own devices.
P.S. - Everyone except Adam needs to post more. Especially Kevin, you lazy sack of feces.
While I was gone, a great many things have happened. Here is a much abbreviated list: My first semester at Cornell has drawn to a close, I have almost definitely failed mathematics, Saddam Hussein has been captured, The Return of the King opened in theatre's (yes, I know it's obnoxious, but that's how I spell theatre...the British way...it's the only word I treat in such a fashion, so just deal with it), Christmas has come and gone, I have liberated the Jews from Sweden, discovered the cure for AIDS (unfortunately in a freak accident, I was forced to use the paper on which my discovery was written as toilet paper, I apologize to anyone with AIDS, including but not limited to: Magic Johnson, "A Boy I Once Knew," Jeanie Boulay from NBC's longtime hit television series ER, and the majority of the African Continent), and proclaimed myself supreme Chancelor of all of Australia (I figure I'll start small).
Now, in the style of the great British writers, we will tactlessly move to discuss things more important than diry people with AIDS, namely "Transitional Romanesque Architecture"...neither traditional nor Romanesque...discuss amongst yoursleves.
In other news: I fucked the Queen of England, Adam got a new car, Kevin crashed his car and got a Jeep, Joefry got a Jetta, A dirty African child dies every 10 seconds, and Prince Charles took it up the ass from King Kong.
In the spirit of keeping with my New York Times reporter status (which I so eloquently maintain as truth) I will promise to at least make the attempt at frequenting the blog and attempting to publish at a frequency similar to that with which I used to. With that said, I leave thee to thine own devices.
P.S. - Everyone except Adam needs to post more. Especially Kevin, you lazy sack of feces.
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