Ask Madden

What up people, it's Cent. My was my night interesting. I'm sitting on my computer at 8:30, perusing pornography and fondling myself and my roommate walks in...no big deal, he took so long to jingle the keys it didn't really matter anyway. He comes in and says, "Hey, uhh...I need you to do me a favor and leave until like 1:00. I gonna have a girl over." I think to myself, "meh, ok, my class tomorrow isn't until 12:20...no big deal." I'm about to leave, and then an image of me jumping up and down on Jenn's (my Jen's roommate) bed and I decide before I leave I am going to put EVERY SINGLE TEXTBOOK I OWN on my bed to make it as least sex-conducing as possible. It was like a landfill. But, hey...whatever it takes to keep the sex off my bed. So after crafting the uncomfort zone, I leave the room and go tell Scott, Justin, Itay, and Patrick that I'd been "sexiled." Fast forward four hours...BV comes to the door and says, "The room is clear."....WHAT THE FUCK!!! What is it clear of...was he searching it for mines, or explosives, or weapons. I swear, he couldn't be more illiterate. About twenty minutes after that I go back to the room...it smells like sex. I want to vomit. The vomit feeling came back a few minutes later when Itay informed me that the chick he fucked is the bitch we all call "stupid, loud-ass, leaching ho." God I hate her. ALL SHE DOES IS SCREECH AND YELL. And on the phone...her voice is like death. I hope she has an STD...I kind of want a single.
Anyway...other than that, not much happened today...I'm going to sit on my computer a little longer and then probably fondle myself to sleep. I'm out.